I’ve come to a very interesting spot in my life. In some regards I feel as if my ducks are somewhat in a row. I have my own apartment, my car is paid off (albeit falling apart), I have a steady career, and I’ve found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. From an outsiders standpoint one could assume I’m on the fast track to a happy and content life, filled with sunshine and butterflies. Obviously I don’t feel that way myself or I wouldn’t be here pouring my thoughts and feelings into a word document for the world to read and judge. I just feel like I can accomplish so much more and I haven’t even began to touch the surface of my potential. I have no one to blame but myself for feeling this way. Up until now I haven’t done diddly squat to push myself towards my goals. I’ve thought about them, dreamed about them, hell – I’ve even purchased expensive equipment like cameras and a laptop to “prepare” myself, but I haven’t taken any actual actions to propel myself forward. That changes today.
Throughout this process I’ll need to constantly remind myself that small steps are ok. I think we could all use that reminder from time to time. As long as you are moving forward and putting one foot in front of the other in an effort to move closer to your goals, that’s all that matters.
So what are my goals? I’ve talked a little bit about achieving more and accomplishing my goals, but I don’t think I ever said what those were. The short answer is I don’t actually know. I can’t pinpoint one specific goal, and I think that’s where my lack of motivation comes in sometimes. I’m overwhelmed, confused, and I just don’t know where to start. So, baby steps. I love baking and so I’ve made and Instagram dedicated to just my baking. Where that goes, I have no idea. And that’s ok. I also love writing and I’ve toyed with the idea of starting a blog, but up until now I hadn’t taken the time to write down any of my thoughts. Now I have a space to ramble and let go. I hope these are all steps that will move me towards where I want to be, which again, I don’t really know where that is. All I know is I don’t want to stay stuck where I am right now, and I can no longer stay stagnant.
Bumps in the road will be inevitable along the way. I have no clear path, but I am taking steps in the right direction. Finally. I need to constantly remind myself that I can’t compare my journey to others people’s as they are all different. I often find myself thinking that what I’m doing won’t work because it isn’t how everyone else does it. Truth be told, that thought is complete bullshit. What works for one person might not work for the next. We are all different, and I need to accept the fact that there isn’t one “formula” to do this thing called life. So here I go, stumbling down an unknown path – ready to put in the work. If there’s anyone out there that has been feeling this same sense of stuck, take this as your sign to start moving towards your goal today. Baby steps. You will never get where you want to be if you don’t put in the work yourself. So start today; right now, with whatever you have right in front of you. It won’t always be easy, but god damn it I can already tell it will be worth it.