This post was supposed to come out yesterday, but I had a really bad day and found myself unable to do anything productive. Nothing outright bad happened. I was just in a poor headspace. It was one of those types of days where something as small as having my belt loop catch onto a doorknob would send me into a rushing stream of tears. Instead of wallowing in my sadness, I tried to evaluate why I was feeling so low so I could work myself out of the funk.
What I realized is it came down to self-doubt and wondering if the risk I was taking was a mistake. The imposter syndrome was real, and I just couldn’t calm my mind. If you’re new here — I recently quit my stable, well-paying, all benefits included job because it was killing me slowly. My migraines were almost a daily occurrence, I wasn’t sleeping, and I was starting to feel this intense rage at work and even the smallest things would set me off. It was time to go. I initially had an exit strategy, but very quickly realized that wasn’t a path I wanted to go down either. *Enter extreme panic*
Behind The Scenes of Taking Risk
I started spiraling out of control and wondering if I should just ask my boss for my old job back so I could experience some sense of stability again. And then I remembered something. I knew that I was taking a risk, and I had told myself before that I was okay with it. Risk is scary, but necessary in order to take major strides in our journey. I quickly thought about all the reasons I left my job and reminded myself of my goals. I couldn’t let the imposter syndrome and fear of the unknown stop me from smashing my goals.
I’m here to tell you that if you find yourself in a similar situation, or you share similar feelings about taking a risk, do it. Life is about experiencing new things and at the end of the day, it really is short and you never know exactly how much time you have here. So live on the edge and go for what you want. What exactly do you have to lose? I ask myself that question frequently. Sure there are the obvious things like money and insurance that might scare you into staying where you are. Don’t get wrong, those are vital to living a happy & healthy life. But my question to you is how are you going to feel when you’re older knowing you played it safe your entire life.
You got calculated results for calculated moves, and while that may satisfy the planner in you, does it satisfy your sense of adventure? Are you going to wonder what could have been if you just went for it? Learn to live with the chaos for a little bit. Accept the fact that you’re probably gonna flap around like a fish out of water for a while. As long as you keep your end goal in mind it gets easier to accept this. Think high-risk, high-reward.
Navigating Rough Waters
The key here is to keep moving at all costs. In the midst of change, you might have really bad days, which is completely natural. If you have to take a time-out from reality and just get through the next few hours doing absolutely nothing, then do that. This whole risk-taking, life-changing business is tricky and you have to take care of yourself too of course as well as work your ass off. It’s a balance. Just don’t stay in your time out forever. Take the time you need to figure out what the cause of your distress is, and then tackle it head-on after some rest.
My last thought here is when you’re experiencing growing pains after taking a risk and jumping headfirst into a big decision, you’re probably going to lose a few people. You can’t be surprised if not everyone is supportive of your decision. After I left my job and announced that I had a blog on my social media to all my followers and acquaintances, it wasn’t all sunshine and butterflies. Most of them read my blog & offered their support, but there were a few stragglers who became peeved when I threw out the term, “toxic” when I wrote about leaving that job.
Here’s the thing. I experienced what I experienced, and I chose not to sugarcoat it when I wrote about it. Secondly, and this is only speculation, but if there was no truth to my words then why would there be such a strong reaction to them? If I was inaccurate with what I was writing about, it would have been easy to move along and just think, “Wow Saskia is spewing nonsense again!” But that’s not what happened nor did they want to personally confront me about it, so I will continue speaking my truth, even if it makes people uncomfortable.
Everyone has their own issues, me included, and that may be a part of why they aren’t supporting your decision. It could be because they don’t understand leaving a comfortably mediocre life, or maybe they can’t fathom doing something outside of the social norms. Whatever their reason is, it doesn’t matter. Their issues are their own, and you have so much more to focus on. And if you take a close look around you, you will find so many people who are in your corner rooting for you — even people you might not assume would support you. You need to focus on them.
The moral of the story here is live your life and wander outside of the lines every once in a while. If you feel something in your heart and you know it’s the right decision for you — go for it. There’s no sense in holding yourself back for other people. Face your fears, tackle that imposter syndrome and show the world how much of a badass are!